As one of those fortunate enough to have got a ticket to hear Tony Blair give evidence to the Iraq Inquiry, which was set up by Gordon Brown to identify lessons that could be learned from the conflict, I was struck far more by the preconceptions by many of those in attendance, as well as the mass media in general. Most have already decided what they believe, inquiry or no inquiry, and so anything that doesn’t conform to their own preconceived notions, which are, in the main, negative towards Blair, George Bush, the rationale for the war, removal of Saddam Hussein and the consequences thereof, is nothing more than a sham.
Indeed, the whole experience was somewhat surreal. The anti-war protestors were in full force with their rhythmic, and somewhat mesmerizing mantra – led by their equivalent of ‘high priest’, or in this case ‘priestess’ shouting ‘Tony Blair!’ to which her congregation duly responded ‘War Criminal!’. The world’s media were gathered around the entrance, enticing attendees to comment on their expectations to print and to microphone, with flash photography in abundance. Unsurprisingly therefore, security was necessarily tight, necessitating a personalised ticketing system with two examples of ID, airport style security checks and so forth.
Alas, my ticket did not permit entrance to the inquiry or ‘interrogation’ room itself, but an adjacent room, referred to as the ‘Additional Viewing Facility’ or ‘AVF’ for short, with a large television screen relaying the proceedings, enabling up to 700 of us - although it appeared that many had decided to forego their opportunity, judging by the rows of empty seats - privileged to have succeeded in the ballot for tickets, to observe the performances of the panellists and, of course, Mr Blair himself, albeit from afar.
The most exciting moment - for there were not many - came approximately 45 minutes into the proceedings when someone got up in the ‘AVF’, stood on his chair and shouted that he couldn’t take any more of this – by which he meant Tony Blair’s evidence, because, and I quote, ‘He is a liar and a war criminal!’, after which, and to collective cries of ‘Will you shut up’, he decided to eject himself with his parting shot being ‘Alright, I am going, I ain’t taking any more of this’, I think somewhat surprised and certainly disappointed that nobody else supported his cause, and before the security personnel, by then approaching rapidly, had the chance to remove him themselves.
Tony Blair’s evidence before the panel lasted a full six hours, split into a morning and afternoon shift – of which I was only present for the first three hours, which focused specifically on the case for war. So the protestor - for argument’s sake, let’s call him Charlie - left less than a third of the way through Blair’s presentation of the facts as he saw them. Yet, Charlie had already determined that whatever Tony Blair would say other than ‘I was wrong, I am a war criminal, I should face a war tribunal’ etc. was never going to be acceptable. This position was echoed on my way back on the tube chatting to a couple who had sat through the evidence, but told me that they never believed that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction, irrespective of the fact that even the United Nations were at the time of the view that he had them, the argument being around how best to deal with him in light of this.
Indeed, what this situation amply demonstrates is how it is our perception rather than the particulars of an external situation, which is responsible for our outlook on life. How often have we all made up our minds about something, such that when presented with the facts we choose to merely fit them into our already formed opinion or ignore them entirely? And this doesn’t have to be something as serious as to whether we believe or disbelieve a former prime minister’s reasons for taking a country to war, but can just so easily apply to our decision to purchase a new flat-screen television when the old cathode ray one is perfectly fit for use, even if it is not as svelte as its intended replacement; or perhaps it is our wish to indulge ourselves on another slice of chocolate cake when committed to losing weight, because we have rationalized that ‘just one more slice’ won’t really make that much difference, of course conveniently forgetting, that this is not just ‘one more slice’, but ‘one more’ after the ‘one more’ before!
Whatever the case, the point is that the mind is not just some benign receptacle, merely recording and informing the individual in an impartial manner as to the particulars of whatever circumstances are presented before him or her. Instead, it is often in overdrive constantly playing with the literally thousands of thoughts and ideas that are continually entering our heads, and turning them into mini, or perhaps not so mini, dramas, which often bear no semblance to reality, at least in an objective sense, to what is going on in the outside world, a process often termed ‘the monkey mind’, analogous to the monkey who jumps from tree to tree.
Indeed, the Kabbalah cognizant of this tendency suggests that the mind is comprised of 3 distinct components, 'Hokhmah', the ongoing creation of thoughts and ideas; 'Binah', the capacity to analyze and interpret those thoughts and ideas; and 'Da’at', the ability to integrate those two separate processes and reach a sense of clarity, rejecting or accepting the suitability or otherwise of those thoughts and ideas.
The bottom line being that it is within our power to choose whether to accept and run with the contents of our minds or reject them as nothing more than a series of transitory thoughts, which can be noted, but not acted upon. Conscious awareness is one of the main goals of Kabbalah, as well as many other spiritual disciplines, and it is by taking control of, and recognizing we are not, our thoughts that we can achieve the first stage of a process of life transformation.
Ultimately, I have no idea whether Tony Blair is telling the truth or not, though the case he presented was quite compelling, but I do know that our friend Charlie and his many friends outside certainly have even less idea, because they are at the mercy of their minds, which to my way of thinking, isn’t a very good place to be.
World leaders have begun gathering in Copenhagen for the United Nations Climate Conference. The meeting's objective, which follows on from the 1997 Kyoto Protocol, is to consider what, if any, action they will take to address ongoing concerns over climate change, or more to the point, the consequences of heavy industrialisation, which it is claimed threatens the future of the planet.
Indeed, according to mainstream opinion, the time for action is now. For example, the Forests and European Union Resource Network (Fern) suggest that today's atmosphere contains 40% more carbon dioxide than at the start of the Industrial Revolution; that just to stabilize greenhouse gas concentrations at present levels would require emissions to be reduced by 70% by the end of this century and that the only effective way to tackle climate change is to reduce and not offset emissions since the latter merely distracts from the problem.
However, there is a mounting body of opinion, albeit a minority view, that suggests that such claims are false or at the very least massively overstated. Not helped by recent revelations that the director of a leading climate research unit at the University of East Anglia manipulated data on global warming, which didn't fit with the prevailing consensus.
But be this as it may, if mankind is indeed in any way responsible, even if some scientists have foolishly and unnecessarily abused data in order to cement their case, then we do have to seriously consider where we go from here.
It is therefore of some considerable concern that reports have already emerged that significant and potentially irreconcilable differences exist between the parties and it is unlikely that they will be able to reach agreement anytime soon. Instead, somewhat remarkably given what is potentially at stake, world leaders seem more preoccupied with the viability or otherwise of the various economic stimulus packages that they are putting in place arguing in all seriousness that business must ultimately come first. Of course, no one seems to recognize the seeming folly of such a position, in that if the eco-system were to collapse so would mankind's existence, in which case business under such circumstances would hardly then matter.
The question therefore, is where do we go from here and is the situation really as desperate as many clearly believe?
Well, from a Kabbalistic perspective, the main problem society faces today, has nothing to do with climate change (man-made or otherwise), global warming, rising sea levels and so forth - at least not directly. Since these things are really just a manifestation of a deeper malaise, namely mankind's pursuance of an ego-centric agenda, and whilst we continue to put our own wants and demands for material gain, above and beyond anything else then are we are likely to suffer the consequences of such choices.
Copenhagen then might be the right place, in that it is where those who have the capacity to lead the way are meeting, but it certainly has the wrong agenda. For if we really want to address the problems facing the world today then we need to look at where our priorities lie. But don't take my word for it; instead here is what Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler said with remarkable prescience in 1944 'Material is a double-edged sword. Advancement in one direction is more than offset by deterioration in another. The great benefits of civilizations are invariably accompanied by its degradations. People don't want to understand that uncorrected human nature will ruin all their efforts. If people become 'givers', the world will be a wonderful place to live in, irrespective of technology. So long as they remain 'takers', their efforts will inevitably be directed towards selfishness, violence and war. Every advance in technology will be used for destruction and ruin....'
The question then for our world leaders is a simple choice. Do we want to continue as 'takers' and suffer the inevitable and potentially catastrophic consequences of our narcissism? Or do we become 'givers' and thereby transform the world to one based on selflessness, compassion and outward-centeredness?
The media and our politicians have been in a real tiz these last few days arguing and counter-arguing over the BBC's decision to invite Nick Griffin, leader of the British National Party (BNP) to appear on the weekly political panel show, 'Question Time'.
The arguments for, propounded by the BBC themselves, was that Mr Griffin is a member of a legitimate political party, that had achieved 6% of the popular vote in the June European Elections, which equates to over a million supporters, and as a result of which had won 2 seats and so therefore can be said to speak for a sizeable minority of the population. Others in support of their appearance argue for freedom of speech, as well as adding that attempting to deny that voice we risk worsening the problem because many, particularly the white working-class, face rising unemployment and seeing an influx of migration, feel disenfranchised by the mainstream political establishment.
Those against, argue that irrespective of any support that the BNP may have, its views, such as repatriation for those considered 'non-indigenous', are abhorrent and offensive to the vast majority and therefore unacceptable. They further add that by allowing Mr Griffin to appear on a primetime television show it somehow confers an air of legitimacy from which they can only benefit.
Of course, the irony of all this is that the publicity given to this matter ensured that the programme itself achieved its highest ever viewing figures in its 30-year history and that the BNP was given prominent coverage across all television channels and the popular press!
But, the question for those opposed to his appearance is that if we feel that his party’s views are offensive and unacceptable and if this is the sole measure we wish to use to determine their exposure or otherwise, then it makes no sense to merely prevent them having media exposure when they remain, for all intents and purposes, a legal entity. In a similar vein it is surely somewhat ridiculous and democratically questionable - for those who believe in the values of democracy - to prohibit teachers, doctors and police officers from being members of the BNP. It is rather like saying that the BNP should be allowed to exist, but it is just that nobody can vote for them. Surely, it would make far more sense, from such a perspective; to simply ban them and other similar organizations outright from participating within the political process and then prosecute anyone caught associating with them?
Such a proposal may well fly in the face of the principle of freedom of speech, but then in spite of all the talk of this being sacrosanct there is no such thing and never has been. Democratic society has its own level of censorship, which we all accept as a given. It is really just a matter of where we decide to draw the line and at which point in time we happen to be standing, since the line itself has tended to shift depending on the prevailing cultural, social or political context. For instance, 50 years ago it was prohibited to promote or discuss homosexuality as a lifestyle choice. Indeed, anyone caught doing so could, and often did, face prosecution, even imprisonment. Today, this is no longer the case. Instead, we have done an about-turn and have created a new crime of ‘homophobia' when one can be prosecuted for making what are considered to be derogatory comments against anyone choosing homosexuality as a way of life.
Thus what is considered right and wrong is less to do with fixed, timeless, principles of existence, but very much dependent on the values western democracy decides are in or out of vogue at a given point in history. All of which is very much at odds with a Kabbalistic world view, which holds that our goal in life is simply to seek to realign ourselves with the nature of the universe and the will of the Creator, rather than the fluctuating whims of society, and it is our failure to follow our own internal moral compass that has led to all manner of disorders that bedevil us today, be they social, political, psychological or even physical.
Thus though the BNP may be a somewhat grotesque manifestation of some of the worst aspects of human nature, attempting to silence or ridicule them simply because of the offense that they cause, merely risks tackling only the symptom, rather than the underlying cause, of their popularity, namely legitimate fears and concerns about the nature of where society is heading.
So another series of the Apprentice is in full flow with Sir Alan Sugar once again searching for his young protégé. In the process we are, once more, subjected to a barrage of egotistical proclamations from the 16 candidates, such as “I am the best salesperson in Europe” and “If I want something I will get it” etc. all vying for the attentions of the ‘self-made’ millionaire. Though to a large extent this bravado is very much driven by the need to make good television, sadly society increasingly seems to believe that material growth in and of itself is what matters, irrespective of the manner and means used. As a result, not surprisingly, we have seen a related growth in selfishness, distrust, and inconsideration of other.
Israel Salanter, founder of the 19th Century mussar movement, which saw ethical conduct and behaviour as the underpinning principle of a meritorious life, both for the individual, but importantly for society at large, argued that we should by all means seek to promote ourselves, but not if it means demoting the validity of another.
The Kabbalah recognizes that we do indeed have animalistic drives and passions, which left to their own devices will lead to gratuitous expressions of self-interest, but argues that these are located in the lower-order soul, known as the Nefesh HaBehamit. However, this drive is not, in and of itself, bad for it creates the drive to life, without which we would not bother getting out of bed in the morning, nor would we eat, drink or play, but this is not, or at least should not be, the overriding force that determines how we live our lives.
The Nefesh Elokit, by contrast, is the higher-order, Divine soul, which gives us a sense of purpose, the spiritual connection to the Ultimate Reality, an acceptance of meaning beyond mere self. The challenge in life, indeed the whole basis of free will, is the ongoing battle to determine who is in control. An often used analogy is between that of a horse (Nefesh HaBehamit) and rider (Nefesh Elokit). The Kabbalah suggests that the difference in essence is between selfishness, and selflessness. Whilst the former is expressed often through surface-level emotive states, i.e. anger, jealousy, lust and greed, the latter is expressed through being other-centred, i.e. love, compassion, sensitivity, appreciation etc.
Our goal in life is to seek to elevate the holy above the profane, to simply to become outward-focused rather than self-centred. This is something Sir Alan’s young upstarts would do well to consider.
It would appear that Bill Gates' halo must be slipping. According to Forbes business magazine, The Microsoft co-founder is now only the 3rd wealthiest man in the world with his personal fortune only having increased by a mere $2bn last year to a total of $58bn, whilst investment guru Warren Buffett’s personal wealth increased by $10bn over the same period to a total of $62bn. And let’s not forget Carlos Slim Helu, a Mexican communications magnate who pipped Mr Gates to second position and who saw his personal wealth double over the past two years.
Now before you get out your handkerchief and weep for Bill Gates let’s get some of these figures into perspective. According to World Bank estimates, $54bn a year would eliminate starvation and malnutrition by 2015, whilst $30bn would provide a year of primary education for every child on earth (source: Boston.com).
Sobering stuff.
But, the problem I have with the Forbes analysis has nothing to do with Bill Gates, Warren Buffett or Carlos Slim Helu - at least not directly, but has everything to do with definition. Now I don’t for one minute expect a business-orientated magazine, to characterize ‘wealth’ as relating to anything other than financial accumulation, but I do think that they - and western society in general - are very much wide of the mark.
By contrast, The Talmud suggests that the one who is wealthy is the one who is happy with his lot (Talmud Avot 4:1), which effectively means that true wealth is not so much about what you own materially, but rather more about appreciating and accepting your blessings, irrespective of your financial position.
Of course, money has the potential to bring tremendous benefit to the world around us, particularly if it is used to create opportunities for others rather than just seen as a means of accumulation. But, how many so-called ‘wealthy’ people are content with what they have, such as their nearest and dearest, or focus on the contribution they can make to the world around them?
Take the porn king Paul Raymond who died this week.
In his lifetime he amassed a £650mn fortune, but died alone as a virtual recluse, his marriage having collapsed because of his infidelity, he was estranged from his son, whose own children subsist on benefits, and had never recovered from death of his daughter from a drugs overdose 17 years ago.
Can Mr Raymond really be said to have died 'wealthy'?
Psychiatrist and Rabbi, Abraham Twerski recounts an old story of an old beggar who was given a magic purse, which contained a single dollar, and when he removed the dollar, another dollar would take its place. Three days later he was found dead, lying on a heap of dollars.
The moral of the story being that unless a person learns to appreciate with what they have, they will never have enough and most certainly cannot be classed as ‘wealthy’.
Green in colour therapy signifies balance. It is neither one of the hotter colours like red nor one of the cooler ones like blue.
Being truly balanced in body and soul is a truly magnificent feeling.
Sometimes we may feel too depressed or perhaps even too silly. Green will bring us back to the centre. Green is standing barefoot on the grass, an activity which helps balance body and mind.
Green funnily enough, is wonderful for laughter, too. What is the connection between laughter and balance?
'Part of our ability to laugh comes from not taking ourselves too seriously. We must realise that in spite of our own personal efforts, ultimately our success is beyond our control....Thus we can tap into a pure level of humour. Such perception is necessary for maintaining health and balance' Nechama Sarah G. Nadborny
Green is a combination of yellow (optimism) and blue (spirituality). If we take ourselves and our problems too seriously, we need the optimistic spirituality (which leads to happiness) of green to balance us - enabling us to laugh at ourselves.
Then, we can use the green energy which says 'go and grow' to move forward without doubt - decisively. In other words doing our best with confidence (and laughter!) knowing that the result is not always in our hands.
Turquoise (blue-green) has the refreshing quality of the sea. There is a certain newness, quirkiness and individuality about this colour. You stand out if you wear turquoise.
It is connected to your individuality - especially in relation to the choices that you make. In this day and age, it's all too easy to just go with the flow and to be over affected by other's opinions and moods. Turquoise is the colour of immunity. By being immune to other's wishes, you are free to choose what is truly best for your personal growth.
Yet, turquoise also brings us a sense of humility and thankfulness. It's the colour of nature in that it contains the blue of the sky and the green of the grass. It, itself, is the colour of the sea. Humility, in its true meaning, is being appreciative of your own gifts, being appreciative of other's gifts and being thankful for the greatest gift of all - that of life itself.
With turquoise, you are aware of your own smallness, being just a speck on this vast planet. Yet of your own greatness too - knowing that you can express your own individuality and make a difference.
Whereas Indigo has the quality of a meditative night sky, blue is the beauty of a clear cloudless morning - the very essence of clarity. It is also the colour of the ocean, calm and serene. Imagine clear blue waters washing over you - all your negative energies and confusions dissolve. Your body is clean, your mind is clear.
Blue is also good for clarity of speech - a wonderful colour to help us express ourselves. If you go for an interview, wear some blue. You may notice that often newsrooms in TV studios have a blue background for this reason.
Blue is also THE colour for dealing with stress, the prime colour to calm your anger and your mind. If you want to relax, just think of your favourite shade of light or royal blue.
Whereas red is the energetic, orange the emotional and yellow the mental - blue is our first step to the spiritual. Any colour with blue in it has a spiritual air. Blue yonder. Blue lifts our eyes up towards the sky, our souls up toward heaven.
Thus, it is a good colour, too for judging people favourably. By seeing someone with true clarity, you can notice their good points. By seeing them as a spiritual being like yourself, you will find it easier to appreciate their efforts. This will lead to a calmer and more satisfying relationship.
'Indigo (Blue-Violet) is the vault of heaven in a moonless light' Pauline Wills
'Indigo is insight, the visionary nature. Hold on to your vision and others will follow....Bring your dreams down to earth.' Philippa Merrivale
Indigo is our mission in life.....our arrow shot into the blue yonder.....up, up and away....
Indigo is connected to the night. Andy Baggott tells us that it's useful in the treatment of insomnia. Indigo is connected to our dreams, to our highest aspirations. By combining the relaxing properties of blue and the intuition that is violet, indigo becomes a wonderful colour for meditation, especially in the focus of guiding us toward our wildest dreams.
Indigo leads us to have faith in our own unique gifts and toward the expression of our special talents. With indigo, we may create our own miracles by discovering and realising our life-mission.
'Emotionally violet teaches us to love our feelings and to accept them as part of ourselves' Pauline Wills.
When things start going wrong for us, we often feel negative, sad, angry, depressed or down. Even despair.
Violet (imagine the sight and scent of beautiful lavender fields) is the most powerful colour for dealing with the ups and downs of life - which often materialise as negative feelings.
Violet is an equal mixture of the physical (red) and the spiritual (blue). Violet is about trust in both. It's about trusting the breath, which means valuing and respecting the fact that we have been given the precious gift of life. Trusting in ourselves. Trusting in our intuition to help guide us. Trusting in the spiritual.
When you think or feel you are falling or taking a down-turn in your life, try the following. Sit upright in a chair, well supported and balanced, in correct and relaxed posture. Imagine breathing in violet and breathing out yellow its complimentary colour. This will help to stabilize and boost your energies.
Lavender (in the same family as violet) is a wonderful herb and aromatherapy oil to make you feel good too!
'Magenta is the colour which prompts a person to make changes so that they can evolve ashuman-beings'Pauline Wills
The difference between human-beings and animals is that humans have a conscience and a soul. Magenta is the highest on our 12 colour spectrum just as a human's qualities make him or her the highest species in this world. An animal will normally eat if he is hungry. A human-being may choose to share his or her food with another - or even to fast.
Magenta symbolises us taking the needs of other human beings into consideration. Thus it's the key colour to enhance relationships. It's the colour for having compassion for another human being. It's a colour of oneness and forgiveness. It's a colour of unconditional love and indeed often looks like a deep shade of pink - a colour often associated with love.
'Magenta is about being appropriate in each moment, loving the small things' Philippa Merrivale.
In other words - taking the time to appreciate each temporary moment and remembering every good in our precious lives. Watching the sun set in a blazing magenta sky over the sea at the end of a hot summer's day.......
Red, the colour of our life-blood is the colour of energy and action. Whenever we're feeling tired, lethargic or listless - red is the colour to get us going. Interestingly, although red is the 'stop' at traffic lights - it's precisely at that moment that we're ready to explode into action and get going!
Yet red is also a colour to ground us - to bring us back to the physical, to our bodies, to the earth. The word for red, in Hebrew, is 'adom' which is also the name of the first physical being on earth (Adam) whilst the root of the word 'adom' is connected to blood and earth.
Nonetheless, too much red can make us too physical and sometimes angry so we must use it sparingly or in combination with a colour such as green (it’s complementary) or turquoise in order to weaken its potency whilst still maximising its energising effects.
'Coral is a combination of both the male and female energies and creates with it a wholeness and harmony'Pauline Wills.
This is one reason it's such a good colour for communication, bringing together the natural differences between male and female, and creating harmony both with the other and ourselves and the male and female WITHIN ourselves.
Coral (Red-Orange) is also a wonderful colour if we ever experience grief, shock or trauma.
'There are occasions when shock or trauma have been very deeply experienced and where the orange ray is too direct to contemplate. In such a situation, the coral may provide a gentler energy with which to comfort it.’Philippa Merrivale.
Whereas orange is connected to our emotions, red is pure physical energy. The red-orange combination allows our deepest emotions to be released and expressed safely.
Orange is a bright, joyous colour. It contains and combines the positive thinking of yellow and the 'moving on with energy' of red.
It is also connected to sight and to the way we can choose to look at things. It is interesting that carrots (which are orange) are said to be good for one's eyesight.
Orange is, therefore, a good colour for helping us accept our past - to see the joy in our past, too. If we are too stuck in a perceived negative past, orange can bring its (red) energy and (yellow) optimism to give us a more positive viewpoint. Orange is our protection from a negative memory in our past.....an emotional comforter.
It's connected to our creativity too. It's an off-beat and quirky colour. Looking at our past in a creative way can enable us to learn and grow from our experiences and thus to accept them more easily.
Orange is a colour of fun. Looking at our lives creatively creates numerous opportunities for fun!
We are aware that gold is something valuable and special. Gold standard is the best standard. Gold has the highest monetary value.
Winning a gold medal in the Olympics signifies the best of the best. The colour gold is a mixture of yellow and orange and incorporates the positive thinking of yellow with the joy that is orange. If we need a colour to motivate us, then gold is that colour.
According to colour therapist Pauline Wills, gold is the colour of wisdom, truth and knowledge. It combines the learning of yellow with the creativity and correct vision of orange.
With gold we have self-esteem. With gold, we have confidence - we can walk our walk.
Should you ever feel stuck or depressed, imagine being surrounded by a luminous gold energy whizzing around the perimeter of your body. Then, go out and walk, preferably in a natural setting. Lift your head slightly and you will start to feel uplifted. You will begin to appreciate the full value of your life - which is worth more than a million dollars.
When the sun comes up and daytime arrives, it is as though we're being offered a new start in life. The darkness of night has dispelled and the light of the sun signifies a brand new day. Yellow is the colour of optimism and positive thinking.
It is a great colour, too, to help us study. When we shine a light on an object or a piece of writing, it makes them clearer. So yellow is an excellent colour for clear thinking - and thus as an aid for time-management too.
Whereas yellow-green is a good colour for detoxification (mint, for example, is wonderful when we are feeling sick) yellow is better used for healing the mind.
Whenever we are thinking in a negative fashion - imagining a brilliant yellow light filtering into our brain can help to lift and lighten our thoughts.
When we are thinking in a more positive way, our bodies feel better too - and this promotes healing.
When we think of the colour green, we often think of grass, open-spaces and freedom. Yellow, on the other hand, denotes the optimism of a beautiful bright sunny day.
Yellow-Green (olive or lime green) is often connected to new life, re-birth, freedom and optimism.
As colour therapist Philippa Merivale says ‘olive is the colour of the new leaf unfolding’. It is the colour of the Spring, the colour that ultimately says to us that the death of winter was just a step before new life and re-birth.
If the fear of death is, deep down, the root of all our fears, then yellow-green becomes the ultimate antidote to fear.
Laughing at the false you - Acting out the fulfilled you
If you ask people what they really want in life, then it's likely that at the very essence of their desires will be achieving happiness. Ask them, however, how they define happiness and you'll, most likely, receive a rather wide-ranging array of responses.
In the final step (of 12) on the road to fulfilment you’ll learn about the very essence of happiness and how to bring it into your life, discovering the importance of balance. Wonderful food is great, but in moderation. Sleep is important and necessary, in moderation. Sexual relations are marvellous and fulfilling, in moderation.
Perhaps, most importantly, you'll learn how to laugh, to see the funny side of life. To understand that you can't control what happens to you that much and that unpredictability and change can actually be refreshing and fun.
And finally, you’ll learn how to 'act' as if you’re happy (try smiling, now!) and how that can actually make you happy!
Personal Growth - Choosing the ingredients and eating with gratitude
Compared to previous generations, we are relatively wealthy. Yet we may still feel 'unsuccessful' in our lives - especially when comparing ourselves to others.
So first of all we need to be thankful for what we HAVE got, whether this be health, friends, family or just the gift of nature or life itself.
Real success is found within personal growth, i.e. becoming a better person. This depends on our starting point, our own efforts and our particular talents. Yoga has the right idea. In that particular discipline, we measure ourselves against our previous performance - not against others.
Giving charity is a wonderful sign of prosperity. Not only is it a good thing for the recipient. It is also good for the giver - as giving even a small amount of charity on a regular basis transforms you into a more charitable and righteous person. This act also tells your unconscious mind that you are wealthy, as you have the financial means to give to another. This type of 'prosperity thinking' is one of the first steps to prosperity.
In the penultimate step (of 12) on the road to fulfilment, you’ll learn that prosperity is good as long as it's used for the good. Deciding what you really need in your life is also important.
Getting rid of excess weight or possessions can allow new things to come into your life.
By making your own choices about your real needs will result in your immunity from other peoples’ agendas, as well as being free from the prevalent societal view and somewhat distorteddescription of success.
You may not think that you get angry - and I hope you don't! - but did you know that frustration, annoyance, angst and even boredom can all be expressions of anger.
Anger is clearly not good for our health, yet suppressing our anger (and other emotions) can lead to depression. Our aim must therefore be to let out any anger in a safe and harmless manner - and then to look at our world and our life situation in more creative and positive ways.
Once we realise how bad anger is for us and the fact that we may have either overt or hidden anger, then we can start to do something about it.
In step ten (of 12) on the road to fulfilment, you will discover practical physical ways to release your anger safely. Jogging or even screaming out our rustrations in a secluded space are just two of many options.
Indeed, if certain situations seem to repeat themselves in our lives, there is, perhaps, a message for us to learn and by accepting this message as a teacher our anger can begin to subside as we look at other possible ways to confront (gently!) our situation. By doing so we'll also learn to judge others - and ourselves - favourably. The effects on our health and general well-being will be palpable.
Along with low self-esteem, stress is probably one of the most prevalent problems of our generation. In this 'I want it now' culture, it's all too easy to get stressed out. For example, what with multi-channel television, the growth of the internet and many other forms of ever-increasing technological advancements, it is perhaps not surprising that we are suffering this rather modern disease we call ‘information overload’. It's as though we've forgotten the simple pleasures and most important things in life.
In step nine (of 12) on the road to fulfilment, you need to learn how to relax your body (progressive relaxation) and to calm your mind (meditation). Part of this process involves focusing on your life-mission i.e. determining what it is you really want from life. This takes some work, but is one of the most rewarding and essential endeavours you can do in order to live a life of minor miracles.
A relaxed body, a calm mind, and knowing who you really are and what truly matters - is a most wonderful antidote to stressful living.
Bouncing back intuitively through the miracle of breath
There are times in our lives when we all feel down. In fact, that's the nature of life itself. Ups and downs. And if truth be told, without the downs we wouldn't really appreciate the ups so much.
Adversity can indeed be our best teacher - it often points to a lack in our lives. If, for example, we are without a (fulfilling) job or a (loving) partner and we resulting feel bad - then at least we become aware of what we need in our lives. Likewise, if we regularly feel angry or frustrated, it may well be that we need to work on these specific character traits as a means to unravelling the root causes of our unease.
If we see our problems as challenges, they can actually be transformed into positive goals. Also, if we learn to listen to and respect our feelings, we allow them to gradually evolve and change.
In step eight (of 12) on the road to fulfilment we need to learn good posture and breathing along with the skills to develop faith and trust in our own basic goodness. This naturally improves our in-born intuition. Answers appear more readily and our adversity becomes yesterday's teacher.
Touching joy - temporary moments and permanent relationships
Although we are all unique with very own talents, skills and abilities, none of us are perfect. In fact, we are not meant to be perfect. Indeed, perhaps ironically, it is through our imperfections that we are able to contribute to the environments within in which we live and thereby help perfect the world – a process known as ‘Tikkun Olam’.
To do this, we need help. We can't do it all by ourselves. Yet by combining our talents, skills and abilities with those of others, we can achieve wonders. Hospitals, for example, could not exist without doctors to heal, nurses to nurse, cleaners to clean, even builders to build...
Relationships make the world go round. On a more personal level, two people who share, love, care and give to each other can often feel more complete than a single person. A good friendship, marriage or relationship is worth its weight in gold.
Everyday we relate to each other on various levels. Good relationship skills are invaluable. In step seven (of 12) on the road to fulfilment we learn to have compassion for others and to feel, share and give love to those around us whilst remembering and focusing on the good they have done.
We also have an important relationship with ourselves. By being easier on ourselves, we learn to love ourselves more. This makes it easier to relate better to our fellow humans in our goal to make the world a better place.
Forgiveness - The first action towards goal achievement
When we have positive, worthwhile and appealing goals in our lives and we take action towards them, we not only feel good and find ourselves in an upbeat frame of mind, but most importantly, we naturally feel drawn to taking action to achieve them.
There are simple, yet powerful, practical exercises we can do to in order to show us what we truly deeply need and desire. One thing’s for sure - our motivation increases, once we have goals we really want.
Even if, at some point, we decide to re-assess or even change our goals - it really doesn't matter. During step six (of 12) on the road to fulfilment what is important is that we have meaningful goals and that we are taking steps to achieve them. This is what makes us feel worthwhile, productive and happy human-beings. It follows that once we achieve a particular goal - we benefit by setting a new one.
Our goals can (and should) also be spiritual and character-building. When we feel that we are on the path to becoming a better person, we naturally feel good.
Having the courage to admit past mistakes and to regret and resolve not to repeat them is a most wonderful character-building goal, which can only lead to us becoming more fulfilled.
Are you really listening or are you too wrapped up in your own emotions?
One of the most powerful secrets of communicating with others is simply to listen to them. By learning to truly listen to another human-being and to feel a little of what they are feeling will gradually lead to a deeper, more responsive, and ultimately more fulfilling level of communication for you both.
To be able to truly listen to others is a healing action. Listening to others takes the focus off you and your problems - and this makes you feel more valuable and less stressed.
However, it is also important to communicate with yourself.
So for a change, why not try turning off the I-Pod, the mobile and even the television and start listening to your own inner voice?
Note what you hear and feel.
And then ask yourself what are you going to do about it?
In step five (of 12) on the road to fulfilment, you need to start letting go of any negative thoughts and feelings, but in a safe and emotionally beneficial, constructive manner.
Do you remember having a good cry in the past that seemed to wash away all your angst and made you feel so much better?
Once these emotions have been released and your thoughts have been unblocked, you are truly able to listen to your inner desires and needs. You are then communicating with yourself and thus are more able to communicate honestly and effectively with others.
Low self-esteem is possibly the biggest problem of this generation. It can show itself in people feeling small and worthless or conversely in people behaving arrogantly and trying to dominate others - in an attempt for them to feel better about themselves.
Yet self-esteem is just self-image - the way in which we see ourselves.
If we look at our past and we think it was full of missed opportunities and empty moments then we are simply reinforcing a pre-existing negative self-image.
However, if we choose to see our past as us doing the best we could with whatever character imperfections we then had, if we see our past as something we can learn and grow from - a teacher to guide us as to what character traits we need to improve, if we see ourselves as genuinely worthy, important, and with our own unique job in life - then our self-esteem rises.
The truth is that we are all unique. There is no one on this earth exactly like us.
Step four (of 12) on the road to fulfilment is to learn to appreciate that we each have our own individual challenges in life, which will help make us better human-beings. Once we identify those particular challenges and work on improving our character traits, our self-image begins to change and our self-esteem rises.
Walking your walk - The holistic way to enhance self-esteem
The biggest enemy of motivation is depression. To be depressed is to be stuck in a rut. Sometimes, so badly, that you are not able to physically move.
When you feel that you are progressing in the right direction towards a satisfying and fulfilling goal, you feel motivated.
The secret to escaping depression is two-fold. Firstly, one can read or study an uplifting book, concept or idea. This can transform, inspire and motivate you to move forward positively in your own life. Secondly, one can move your body and walk, especially in a pleasant or natural environment. But if truth be told, any walking, dance, natural movement or exercise can promote health and well-being. When you are no longer in the same physical space of your depression and you get your body walking and moving - your ‘stuck-ness’ goes and your movement brings on positive feelings and natural inspiration and motivation.
Step three (of 12) on the road to fulfilment is to begin to appreciate the benefits of action. When you feel down, the simple action of lifting your head slightly upwards (and smiling) can make you feel both happier and more motivated to make positive progress in your life. Try it!
Well I don’t know about you, but this sounds just too good to be true, and yet this maxim is easy to prove.
The stress in our lives is often caused, not by an actual event - but by the THOUGHT of something bad happening (an event, which in fact often never takes place or at least is not as bad as we fear).
The fact is that we often can't control or forecast future situations, but we CAN learn to control our own thoughts. Whenever we think of something bad or unhappy that may happen, we start to worry, feel tense, nervous, stressed or unhappy.
However, now - yes, right now - I want you to think of something really lovely. Something real, e.g. like a gorgeous baby or person that you love. Or else something or some place that you'd love to be. Lying on a beautiful beach perhaps, in ideal temperatures and glorious and serene surroundings. Maybe a smile appears on your face as your body gradually feels calm and relaxed....
Step two (of 12) on the road to fulfilment, is to learn how to think good as a means to beginning to feel good.
It has been said that our biggest fear is not death or even pain - but that of speaking in public!
Could this possibly be true?
On examination, we can begin to understand what this fear of Public Speaking is really about. Our prime worry is of receiving a bad or negative reaction. What if we don't get applause? What if we foul up? What will people say about us? What DOES their reaction say about us as a person? What embarrassment!
I suggest that our deepest fear is that nobody really loves us. For when someone truly loves us, like a loving and caring parent, they don't stop loving us when we fail. Unfortunately, we don't always have the supportive parents, friends or audience that give us the unconditional love that we all need.
Our first step (of 12), therefore, on the road to fulfilment, is to give ourselves that love that we crave. By learning to speak words of love and care to both ourselves and others, we become a person filled with love. When we truly love ourselves and others, we feel fulfilled and our fear of failure quickly dissolves.
